“Real MEN”

Kelly & Lila

My youngest son at the Commission on the Status of Women, United Nations, 2018.

I never had much need of a “real man.” My paternal grandmother Lila and my great-grandmother Millie–both college educated–were bold, voiced women who cultivated such a legacy of strength that it lives on to this day even among those female descendants who never shared in their company as I so fortunately did.

And yet, the culture seeps in.

If not Disney Princes than the other men projected onto the big screen or onto the pages of history books or out into the world where women, despite their capacities and desires, were and continue to be not only underrepresented but unrecognized and uncelebrated.

Strong women have long been suspect, perceived as a threat by both women and men–those who haven’t claimed their own power–or those who prefer the safety of the status quo (particularly when it’s in…

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Releasing the Role of a Lifetime

When a single pot cookie makes your marriage stronger…

The Empty Nest Diary

To whom are we beautiful as we go?

~David Ignatow

I can’t find it now, but there was an article (or maybe only a meme) that coined a new adolescence–for sixty-year olds–healthy, solvent, childless and ready for new adventure. A couple on a bike was pictured, legs outstretched, careening down hill (or maybe I imagined that.)

There’s something freeing (or anxiety producing) about your first-born reaching 20.

Maybe that explains it.

Or maybe it was the combination of two favorites: peanut butter & chocolate;
or the comfortable, familiarity of a potluck gathering;
or the long-awaited return of the sun on Winter Solstice;
or the friendly, innocent words: love & gluten-free–in the welcoming shape of a cookie.

All of these came at the tail end of a month–an entire fucking month–of hormonal headaches. (60 is still on the horizon for me.)

Nothing happened. Not really. Which was always the way it…

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