wanting free

 Jim McCulloch, 2011, all rights reserved,
Jim McCulloch, 2011, all rights reserved,

Sometimes i miss me the me i used to be–
the energy around me when i was still so unsettled,
in turmoil, searching, free…

sometimes i travel back in a dream,
or a song,
or into my my own imaginings…
trying to hold onto something that kept me alive–
the excitement, the passion
the unknown
the possibilities

not that i don’t love my life now
but the youth of it is missing
the openings are closed

casey lets me go where i need to go
doesn’t try to hold me back
understands, or at least accepts, my crazy mind
and hopefully knows that my love for him
Is the fertile ground of my life’s blossoms

but sometimes, i just want to be the
 butterfly

(july 1998, 34 years old, mother of a three year old)

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