“Don’t tell me you will love me forever. Tell me that you will love me Thursday afternoon at four o’clock.” –W. H. Auden
I wonder if it’s a good sign or a bad sign that I haven’t written on my marriage blog in months.
When I first started blogging about us two years ago, we were approaching our 19th Anniversary; and our relationship was in serious need of an overhaul. I had always thought we’d celebrate our 20th with a big party, but it didn’t feel right in these ragged conditions.
I was sad about missing the opportunity to mark such a significant milestone, until a reader pointed out that the “21st” was a “Coming of Age” anniversary. That’s it, I thought; and when the retreat across the road had an opening on the exact weekend, I booked it.
I knew I wanted to include some type of ceremony, but when I thought about it, I didn’t feel right renewing our vows. I didn’t even believe in them anymore. How can someone “promise” to love and cherish “forever”? Despite the good fortune of our own marriage, we’d seen too many relationships fall by the wayside to believe that such a thing could be guaranteed.
And yet, we did want to honor the gift of our loving longevity in some way. So we decided to do just that… honor the blessing–without promising a thing for the future.
Kelly Salasin, May, 2011