Love Founded: 1986

Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

(Kyra Sedgewick & Kevin Bacon, from Secrets of Great Marriages )

Gustav Klimt, “The Kiss”,

I don’t know if anyone can really claim the “Secrets to Great Marriages” (like the book quoted above), or even commonly define “great,” but I’m certain there’s lots to learn along the way–about yourself, about life, about love.

For me the most important thing is to keep it real–and that takes time, and attention and courage. In 25+ years of marriage (and 30+ years of sex, love & devotion–in that order), Casey and I have discovered that our promises are less important than our willingness to take the risks necessary to keep growing–together–and apart.

Surprisingly there are few interested in that exploration so your company on the journey is much appreciated. Take a look around to find something that resonates for you, and share your thoughts…


One thought on “Love Founded: 1986

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  1. Kelly, I have been trying in vain to locate a post you made some time ago on your blog–Kelly and Lila. It was the most significant revelation I have ever seen on the elements of love’s kaleidoscope. I have now discovered that many women have marriages like yours (they are invariably wonderful–as yours is–) because of the unique “fit” afforded. Have you deleted the piece that meant so much to me–I’m sure you know which one I mean. I have long been fascinated with Lou Andreas Salome, recently saw the movie (disappointing) and am rereading H.F. Peters biography which hints at the kaleidoscope but only touches upon its relevance to her–which was fundamental. I have written a play: GALATEA– a precis follows. If you want and will, I’d like very much to discuss this with you, privately. Please let me know if this reaches you.


    Hugo von Hofmannsthal is credited with creating the greatest female character ever to tread the operatic boards–Marie Therese (Die Marschallin in the opera DER ROSENKAVALIER). She was his Muse, his Goddess, his ideal woman.

    He created his GALATEA according to patriarchal culture which not only put a female Muse at the beck and call of the artist, but also dictated that ALL incarnations of Aphrodite–all females –be innately subservient to males.

    In this play the artist’s creation comes to life as a vibrant, seeking, uncertain, loving human being who is now free to be her SELF and to love whomever and however she chooses. This famous myth is stood on its heels breaking tradition by regarding it from the matriarchal point of view.


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